What Makes Leadership Last:

I once read a comment that permanently changed how I view leadership: Leadership includes both what you do and what you leave. This idea reshaped not only how I understand leadership but how I actually lead. Too often, we overemphasize what we do in the moment while neglecting what we leave behind for others.

Leadership opportunities are everywhere—at work, in communities, schools, or churches. But perhaps the most overlooked place to lead is within our own families. Family leadership might be the most lasting, powerful form of influence we have. It’s here, more than anywhere else, where what we leave matters deeply.

Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or sibling, you have chances to lead. But how do we measure successful leadership in this context? Not by how much control we have—but by what remains when we’re gone.

Take a parent, for example, teaching their child the value of hard work. The real sign of successful leadership is when that child demonstrates the work ethic on their own—without supervision. That’s when we know a value has been transferred. That’s when leadership becomes legacy.

While working on my master’s thesis, I explored the question: Do parents matter? Some genetic behaviorists argue that parenting makes little difference—our behaviors are set by our DNA. But family scholars strongly disagree, emphasizing that values, attitudes, and behaviors can be shaped by parenting.

I focused on the intergenerational transmission of values—how youth and young adults adopt the beliefs and behaviors of their parents and grandparents. The results were striking: there’s a high correlation between parent-held values and the values their children end up internalizing. What we do—and more importantly, what we leave—has lasting impact.

One of the best examples of leadership I’ve seen comes from my own grandmother, Taylor. She lost her husband in a tragic accident and raised five children as a young widow. Her frugality wasn’t just a survival tactic—it became a family value. Her motto, “Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without,” wasn’t just said—it was lived.

She passed that principle to my mother. My mother passed it to me. And now I strive to teach it to my children. That’s four generations touched by one woman’s quiet leadership. She didn’t just do something—she left something behind.

As you think about the many places you can lead—at work, in your church, in your community—don’t overlook your family. That’s where your influence can echo through generations. In the end, true leadership isn’t just what you do. It’s what remains after you’re gone.