Letting Go, Growing Together:

Face it—parenting often feels like being launched into battle. You juggle dance lessons, sports camps, school pickups, meals, and laundry cycles that never end. You stare blankly at the eggs in the grocery store wondering if cage-free means chaos, and realize—yep, the clothes are still in the washer from yesterday. Parenting can be beautiful, exhausting, and all-consuming.

Commercials and social media paint an idealized version of parenting: one filled with perfect weddings, college savings, dream homes, and photo-ready family memories. You’re taught to plan for everything—tutoring, instruments, prom, insurance, missions, and more. But amid the nonstop logistics, have you stopped to ask: Is all this really required? Or, more importantly: What is my actual role as a parent?

One of my mentors once asked me what I thought parenting meant. I said: “Parenting is raising adults, not children.” He smiled, gave me a hug, and said something I’ll never forget:
“Enjoy them not needing you—but taking you with them, wherever they go.”

When a child leaves—whether for college, work, missions, travel, or simply independence—many parents experience a mix of pride and grief. The familiar rhythm of life changes. Some parents see it as a crisis; others see it as a new beginning.

The ABC-X Model, developed by sociologist Reuben Hill, offers a helpful lens:

• A – The stressor (e.g., your child leaving home)

• B – The resources you have to cope (e.g., emotional support, financial means, perspective)

• C – The meaning you assign to the situation (loss vs. opportunity)

• X – The outcome (either crisis or growth)

How you interpret and respond to this transition makes all the difference. It’s not about whether the child leaves—it’s about what that departure means to the parent and family system.

Whether you fully fund your child’s new life or challenge them to build independence through work and responsibility, your support matters. Some parents lean into every detail. Others stand back to watch their children problem-solve. Both approaches can be healthy when grounded in love, communication, and respect.

As your child grows into adulthood, you’re invited to grow too.

• Rediscover your own identity.

• Pursue personal passions that were on hold.

• Explore the “what’s next” for you—not just for them.

This change doesn’t mean the relationship ends. It evolves. And if you’ve built trust and connection, they will take you with them—wherever they go.