Choosing Connection Over Consumption:

Why The Things We Buy Don’t Always Make Us Happier

Most people believe that happiness is one of life’s primary purposes, yet there are many different ideas about how to achieve it. Intrigued by this topic, I explored some of the research around what truly brings us happiness—and I came across the work of psychologist Thomas Gilovich. His findings surprised me.

Dr. Gilovich discovered that people who spend money on experiences rather than material possessions tend to experience more happiness—and that happiness lasts longer. At first glance, this seems counterintuitive. After all, material things last longer than a night out or a trip. But as he explains, we adapt to the items we own. Over time, they become background noise in our lives, bringing us less satisfaction.

Even worse, we compare what we have with what others have—something bigger, newer, flashier. These comparisons often diminish our sense of contentment and self-worth.

Why This Message Matters More Than Ever In December

This idea feels especially relevant around the holiday season when so much emphasis is placed on gift-giving. And yet, year after year, we often find that physical gifts don’t bring the happiness we hoped they would. What if, instead of buying things this year, we invested in experiences with the people we love?

You could plan a family trip to somewhere new. Buy tickets to a concert or a theater show. Take your kids to see their favorite sports team live. These experiences don’t just bring joy in the moment—they create lasting memories that strengthen relationships and bring joy for years to come.

What I Remember Most From Childhood

When I look back on my own childhood, I can barely remember the toys or gadgets I received. But I do remember the family vacations—watching BYU play in the Holiday Bowl, visiting Sea World and Disneyland, and swimming in December while snow was falling back home in Orem. Those experiences have stayed with me. They are moments I treasure. My parents gave us something far more valuable than toys—they gave us memories I’ll cherish forever.

The Key Ingredient: Human Connection

So why do experiences bring more lasting happiness than things? I believe it’s because they help us feel connected to those we love. Shared experiences create bonds. They give us stories to tell, laughter to share, and emotions to remember. At the end of our lives, we won’t be thinking about the brand of shoes we wore or the car we drove. We’ll be thinking about the people we journeyed through life with. We’ll flip through photo albums filled with smiles, not product boxes.

What Will You Remember Most?

This holiday season, consider skipping the usual shopping rush. Instead, use that money to create moments with the people who matter most. A trip. A show. A new experience you can enjoy together. You’ll find that this kind of gift brings something material possessions can’t: deep, lasting happiness rooted in connection, love, and shared memory.